To Observe and Interject
by InfiniteRegress
Summary: What's it about? No idea. A humorous account of copper's reactions to Sam and Andy's relationship drama. That was the original plan. Sam and Andy weren't even supposed to interact in Ch1. They didn't like that. Now it's Rated M. Starts at S1, Ep1.
1. Surveillance

Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. No copyright infringement is intended. References to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.

1.01 Sometimes there are surveillance cameras

The Black Penny

Oliver Shaw always told his rookies they were like fresh paint; people could smell new cops just like fresh paint. That's what Tommy McNally had told him when he was a rookie, and well, tradition was important.

Personally, he'd always thought that rookies were like puppies, eager to please, sometimes too dumb to stay out of trouble, and always making a mess on the carpet if you let them out of your sight for too long. His job was to house train them.

He surveyed the rookies laughing and toasting the first day on the job. He thought that Diaz was a lot like a golden retriever, friendly, loyal, and eager to please. Peck was like a snooty French poodle. Now Epstein, he was more like a Chihuahua that thought he was a German Shepard.

"Rock and Roll, McNally." Oh God, Oliver thought, overhearing Epstein's remark, he's not some deranged pup; he's wants to single-handedly wipe the world of crime; he's me when I was a rookie.

How had his training officer made him the responsible one? He didn't remember. Was it Zoe and the kids? Was he going to have to add matchmaking to the training manual? Oliver shook his head and muttered, "This is going to be a nightmare."

He watched Andy McNally laughing at something Nash had said. He finally understood what Tommy McNally had been saying all those years ago. Rookies were not jaded by the job yet; they were full of hope and idealism. Fresh paint, his training officer hadn't gotten it from a book he knew his kid. All that trouble Tommy had and still his daughter was eager to put on the uniform and carry a badge. Yeah, his job now was to make sure that Andy McNally retained her sheen.

Oliver headed over to Jerry and Sam at the bar, noticing that Sam was also noticing McNally's sheen. Sammy could use some fresh paint in his life. Oliver clapped his hand on Sam's shoulder and said, "So, next time you decide to reward a rookie, with her first collar on her first day, for breaking your cover and tackling you to the ground, can you warn me? My rookie was running loose all over the place because I thought you were playing payback wild goose chase with her."

Oliver grabbed Sam's head with his hands and turned it towards McNally, "Will you look at my rookie? You know that cut on her hand? She didn't get it from the perp, she got it by poking at jagged glass. You can't turn your back on these rookies for a minute."

Noelle walks up to the guys at the bar, "We're off shift, enough babysitting rookies. We've got the backroom reserved to welcome Sam back. Jerry!" Noelle snapped, "Stop drooling over Jenny from the block, you're making a puddle on the floor."

Oliver chuckled and thought that some cops never really got house trained and said "Come on Jerry. Let's go before Noelle smacks you on the nose with a newspaper."

They pushed their way into the backroom and found Frank sprawled in a chair and about four drinks ahead of them. Sam stepped over Frank's legs and took a seat and asked him how he'd been. "Zero for two." Frank muttered. "Baseball, Frank? I thought you were a hockey man." Sam asked. "In marriage, man." Frank responded. Sam looked over at Noelle and saw the surprise on her face.

Oliver pulled out a chair for Noelle while Jerry grabbed beers for the table. They spent a couple hours downing beers trying to catch up with Frank, rather unsuccessfully. Only Noelle abstained using the excuse that one of them needed to stay sober enough to get them all home.

They started catching up on their lives, the gossip around Division 15, and Sam shared some of his experiences undercover. As it became clear that Sam was getting aggravated over how close he came to busting Anton Hill before it all fell apart, Jerry turned the topic to all the stupid criminals they had encountered while Sam was away.

"This guy robs a bank and sticks the money down his pants. The dye packs exploded and Frank and Noelle found him hopping up and down at the scene. "

"So these college kids stole a cruiser from twenty-seven, used a blow torch to cut leg holes in the floor and were cruising around Toronto screaming 'Yabba dabba doo!' and singing the _Flinstone's_ theme song on the radio while Oliver is chasing them down the street on foot."

"We had this guy robbing jewelry stores by throwing bricks through the window, he finally hit one with a plexiglass and knocked himself out, and when he woke up he tried to convince Jerry the store owner had assaulted him"

"This woman stole a camel from the Toronto zoo, painted spots on it and tried to milk it as some sort of nutty health regimen. Turned out the camel was male."

At this point, Oliver was just drunk enough to ask Sam the question. "Sam, when did you become a stupid criminal?"

Sam glared at Oliver. Frank lifted his head, looked directly at Sam and asked, "Did you see my rookie?" Sam shook his head no and Frank continued, "Oh. Was wondering why you didn't leave the scene when shots were fired. Thought maybe you thought Diaz was Superman. He kind of looks like Superman or Clark Kent without glasses Thought maybe when I told him to use the crime scene tape you thought he created a force field to keep you in." Frank downed his third whiskey.

"It was a crappy lock" Sam muttered, not wanting to admit to himself that expecting a lock to keep cops out was kind of the same thing. Sam took another swig of beer, looked at Jerry with dread and asked, "What's that?"

Jerry had produced a DVD from his pocket with flourish. "Evidence. You know how Callaghan is. Nothing he likes better than investigating a case that is already solved. Increases his clearance and moves him up the ranks. He collected all the surveillance tapes from a three block area."

Sam's head dropped to the table as Jerry loaded the DVD and turned on the television. He had a good idea of what was coming next.

Jerry tossed Oliver the remote and he hit the pause button moments after hitting play and said, "I know you missed Boyko's speech to the rookies, but is eight months undercover enough time to forget that the one thing they do train rookies to do is run? You ducked into an alley to continue chatting? You didn't ditch the drugs?"

"How was I to know the handlers let the pups of their leashes to chase after criminals all on their own?" Oliver and Noelle both ducked their heads at that one.

Oliver hit play and watched Sam take off running. He got to the tackle, hit rewind and play again. After a couple more times he hit pause so Sam's friends could wipe the tears from their eyes. The laughing finally died down and then the ribbing started.

"I've never seen anyone run parallel to the ground before."

"It's like you were flapping your wings but couldn't get enough speed to take off."

"I think you wanted to get caught. Roll around in fresh paint for a while." Sam glared at Jerry who said, "What? She's limber." remembering how she had worked at getting out of those handcuffs.

"You are so lucky she hasn't figured out how to work electronics yet. First she has to learn how her radio works and then her Taser. A couple more days and McNally would have given you a jolt to the ass." That one came from Oliver.

Frank responded by slipping off his chair and sliding to the floor. He was lying flat on his back laughing so hard that he looked like someone had tasered him.

Oliver let the DVD play all the way to the end and Noelle asked Sam "What did you say to her?"

"That she waz making a mistake. That I waz on the job." Sam slurred a little.

Noelle responded "That's what everyone says, don't they?" Jerry and Oliver nodded. Frank had dozed off on the floor.

Jerry, still trying to deflect his part in breaking Sam's cover asked Oliver, "When you realized the rookie had arrested him, why didn't you make an excuse to get out of the car and relay a message to division? He wasn't particularly bright to keep doing business with Sam with cops in pursuit. He wouldn't have figured it out."

Sam took note that it didn't make him look all that bright either, but still, he was relieved that they seemed to be getting to the part of his day that wasn't his fault. Oliver volleyed back to Jerry with "Sam was wearing as much grease in his hair"

"Gel" both Sam and Jerry interjected.

"as you do. How could you not tell Sam was undercover even if you couldn't see the restraints?" Oliver finished.

Jerry countered with "Well if you weren't preoccupied with that rookie, then maybe you could have kept the situation more under control."

Noelle was beginning to get worried that she had two drunken hotheads on her hands and tried to interject but Oliver went on" I was trying to protect Sammy. McNally brought him in on possession charges. Frank's been running around telling the rookies to make the suspects cough. I was worried that Epstein was going to fight me for the booking so he could pull out the latex to search Sammy's yin yang and make his first drug bust."

"Do guys have a yin yang?" Jerry asked.

Frank snorted, rolled to his side, tucking into a fetal position, and muttered "check the yin yang." Sam, Noelle, Oliver, and Jerry thought that was hysterical.

Oliver asked, "Do you think the rookies will notice that we screwed up more on their first day than they did?"

Noelle responded, "We noticed", which got her quizzical looks from Oliver, Jerry, and Sam and continued, "Don't you remember our first undercover as hookers when our training officers…"

"Samantha, you were one ugly woman." Oliver blurted.

"Didn't stop Jerry from hitting on him" Noelle chimed in.

"Jerry would hit on anything in a mini skirt." Sam said, as he tugged on his jeans remembering all the places fishnet stockings could ride up into. Sam just hoped the traditional hazing for the first day a training officer came back from another assignment was about over.

The Black Penny Parking Lot

Noelle managed to lead her drunken coworkers on a weaving path through the parking lot. They had to resort to getting a dolly to wheel Frank out. Oliver was leaning on the handle trying to stop the world from spinning. Jerry and Sam were leaning on each other, arms around waists, trying to stay upright.

Now she was trying to figure out how to load four drunken police officers into a car that only had room for three. She pulled out her phone to call a cab but she hesitated, not sure which of them was sober enough to get home alone without creating an incident.

She noticed a rookie cutting across the parking lot and called out, "McNally, come over here." Andy jogged over to Noelle and was asked "where are you headed?"

"I just came from seeing my father and now I'm headed home" Andy answered.

Noelle asked McNally where she lived and when she answered, Noelle, said. "OK. I need you to take care of Swarek. He lives a few blocks from you and he's in no shape to make it home on his own. Will you get him home?" Noelle jotted down Sam's address and went to hand it to Andy.

Andy was pretty sure she had never seen anyone as drunk as her senior officers. Even when she, Traci, Chris, and Dov had graduated the academy they hadn't been this drunk and Dov had woken up with a Yertle the Turtle tramp stamp. "Um, sure" Andy didn't think she could refuse a superior officer, especially the only one who was sober, but she wished she could take Shaw home instead. Sam Swarek made her nervous.

Andy helped Noelle load the others into the car while Sam leaned against the driver's door. Andy nudged Sam until he put his arm around her shoulder and then muscled him until he was standing somewhat straight, leaning against her. Noelle pointed to Sam's truck and told Andy she could drive Sam home. As Andy and Sam began making their ways toward his truck, Noelle pulled out of the parking lot.

Reaching the passenger door, Andy turned to face Sam and asked "Can I have your keys?" Sam put his arms on the truck, caging Andy between them, and leaned in. Sam brushed his nose against hers and then angled his head into the crook of her neck and began to nuzzle her, "Bambi. Mmm. So soft. Smell so good."

Andy shivered and decided she needed to find Sam's keys fast. She patted him down, looking for his keys, but Sam mimicked her movements and now his hands were on her. She finally found them in the front pocket of his jeans.

Andy tried to duck out of Sam's arms to go around to the driver's side of the truck but Sam tightened his hold, pulling Andy closer. Andy wiggled and squirmed and managed to turn around in his arms. She was so warm; Sam was like a furnace at her back. Fumbling with his keys, she managed to get the passenger door unlocked.

Andy decided to climb over the passenger seat to the driver side of the truck, hoping Sam would follow her in. Sam was still drunk enough that Andy's sudden scramble into the cab unbalanced him and Andy got herself free and into the truck. Sam climbed in after her and shut his door. Andy reached over to Sam and fastened his seatbelt. He grabbed her hands and held them for two heart beats until Andy pulled away.

Andy turned out of the parking lot and began the short drive to Swarek's place. She had the steering wheel in a death grip and kept stealing glances at Sam. Every time she looked over, he was always looking back. He was either the most focused drunk she had ever seen or he had learned to sleep with his eyes wide open. Her mouth suddenly dry, Andy licked her lips. Sam groaned. Yeah, he definitely wasn't asleep.

Andy found Sam's street and pulled into his driveway. She shut off the engine and climbed out of the truck. Sam tried to follow her out the driver's side. If he hadn't been belted in and too drunk to escape his restraints he probably would have managed it and fallen on his face.

Sam's eyes tracked Andy as she came around the truck. She opened his door and leaned in to unbuckle him. Sam couldn't resist running his fingers through her hair. Andy pulled away but steadied Sam as he climbed out of the truck.

She walked him to his door and as she tried to find a key to unlock the door, Sam ran his hands up and down her arms. Andy finally swung the door open and pushed Sam over the threshold. Sam turned around to face her and reached to pull her in with him.

Andy was tempted, so tempted, but she was sober and Swarek had started the night so angry with her over the undercover assignment and it was her first day as a cop and they worked in the same division even if he was Guns and Gangs. She didn't want to chance any regrets. She didn't want to chance ruining her new life when it was just beginning. She caught Sam off guard and swung the door closed with him inside and then hurriedly locked it again.

Andy leaned her forehead against the door and inside Sam tested the handle and couldn't make the door open and then smacked his forehead against the door with a thud. Andy jolted back and bent over, her hands on her knees, trying to pull it together. After a few moments, when she had her emotions in check, Andy straightened up to leave.

As she headed home she wrapped her arms around herself, suddenly chilled. Andy muttered, "It's going to be fine. We'll just pretend tonight never happened. Maybe he won't even remember." As Sam's keys jangled in her hand, she added "I hope he has spares." Andy decided she would give the keys to Noelle in the morning to return to Sam and ask her not to mention how Swarek got home if he didn't bring it up.

Sam stumbled to his couch and settled in for a night of sweet, sweet dreams.

Luke Callaghan rolled up on a crime scene a couple blocks away from The Penny. The uniforms already had the suspect cuffed, crying, and spilling his guts. "Two murders closed in one day. Damn, I'm good," Luke thought and then directed the uniforms, " Go collect all the surveillance tapes in a three block area."


	2. Wahoozey

**1.02 We've got McSwarek up the wahoozey, but that Gail she's up to no good **

A/N 1 Definition, up the wahoozey: a lot, more than needed. Get your minds out of the gutter. It refers more to "Mercury Retrograde", which was near McSwarek perfection, than the chapter.

A/N 2 Thanks for all the feedback on Chapter 1, keep it coming. To answer a couple questions: This is going to be more parallel than alternate universe. I'll follow the season by episode but I will be tweaking along the way as I am incapable of coping with Luke/Andy for a season and a half of chapters.

Disclaimer: I don't own Rookie Blue

Swarek's Place

Sam was pressed back into his bed, a gorgeous woman arching over him. He moved his hands up her rib cage to her lower back, his thumbs brushing by her bared breasts, until they settled on her shoulders where he tangled his fingers in her long brown hair. His gaze was caught in her doe eyes. Sam pulled her down into him, pressing her body closer to his. She showered his neck with kisses and then moved to his lips, kissing him so deep that he could feel the connection between them in his soul. Sam wanted to devour her, he tucked her body into his as he lifted and turned wanting her body pinned beneath his weight and…

"Son of a bitch" Sam exclaimed as he lifted his head off his hardwood floor. His head was pounding and he didn't think that it was just the face plant he took falling off his couch. To his further disgust there was no beautiful brunette lying underneath him.

He rolled over to his back and raised his arm to cover his eyes and block out the sunlight shining in through the front window. Images of the pretty young rookie who took him to the ground the day before flashed across his eyes. He couldn't separate dream from reality and was worried that if it was all dreams; he might just be a man obsessed. If they weren't all dreams, well then, he might just be a man condemned.

Sam crawled to his kitchen and dragged himself to his feet. After splashing water on his face, he pulled open the refrigerator door and then raided the medicine cabinet.

When they were rookies he and Jerry had come up with this concoction out of necessity. It was vile. The trial and error of its creation had been worse than the hangovers, but it made him somewhat human and able to work.

But still, he should have taken a couple days off between his undercover assignment and putting the uniform back on. Too late now, he thought, and downed the disgusting smoothie in one long swallow.

After showering and changing clothes, Sam headed to the front door and found it locked. He scanned the living room and didn't see his keys. Looking out the window, he saw his truck was in the driveway so they must be around somewhere. He didn't have his spares. He'd given them to Oliver in case something needed to be taken care of while he was undercover.

He spent a good fifteen minutes tearing apart the couch and the living room searching for his keys and came up empty. Now he was running late. Sam decided he'd just have to hot-wire his truck.

But there was one problem with that, Sam knew how to secure a domicile and picking the locks would be a bitch. Sam decided to go out a window.

OK, there were two problems with that. Sam had done a half-assed job painting the first floor and all of the windows were painted shut. "If there is ever a fire, I'm going to burn to death." Sam muttered.

He could call Oliver to bring over his keys but decided against it. The absolute last thing he needed, after the drubbing he took last night, was for the guys to find out that Sam had gotten locked in his own home and couldn't get out. What he needed was a crappy lock. That was when he remembered that he had been sent undercover before he got around to painting the second floor.

xxxxxxxxxx

A cruiser pulled up at Sam's address. Oliver had arrived at 15 Division early this morning. He was one of those annoying people that no matter how much they drank, tended to get a little dehydrated but never felt particularly sick. So when the call from one of Sam's neighbors came in about a suspicious person possibly breaking in at Sam's address, Oliver took a cruiser to go check it out. If it looked like Anton Hill was out for some payback he was ready to call in the entire division if necessary.

Oliver found Sam swinging from a second story window. "Breaking and exiting?" Oliver called to Sam.

Sam was startled, lost his grip and fell. A disgruntled "Son of a bitch" was heard coming from the hedges.

Oliver trotted over to the bushes and reached a hand out to Sam, pulled him up and asked, "Do you want to talk about it?"

Sam didn't. Oliver didn't have Sam's keys; they were in his locker at 15 Division, so Oliver was giving him a ride into work. Oliver was trying to hold back a chuckle. Sam was sitting in the passenger seat and to most people Sam would seem completely calm and collected. "Most people would be wrong", Oliver thought. Sam was agitated. Oliver would like to say he knew that because he knew Sam that well, but Sam had a fairly good poker face. However, at the moment, Sam had a tell. He was absently picking leaves out of his hair and tearing them up into little pieces.

"So how did we get home last night?" Sam asked out of the blue.

"Don't remember much. Zoe told me this morning that Noelle deposited me on the door step in the middle of the night." Oliver looked over at him and answered. They pulled into 15 Division. Sam had the look of a man that wanted, desperately, to ask more questions but couldn't decide if he should. The decision was made for him when Oliver's phone rang.

"That was McNally. She's arrested her fourth suspect before her second shift has even started. I've got to go pick her up." Oliver said and then shoved Sam out of the car before he could protest.

15 Division

Oliver smacked McNally's purse snatcher upside the head. Cops could and would mock each other, unmercifully, but criminals had better show their respect. Even to the rookies.

Andy was fumbling with her keys, ID, and dry cleaning trying to get through the door to booking. Oliver grinned at her like a doting uncle as she muttered something like "not mine" under her breadth. Once through the door, McNally was offering to book the purse snatcher with all the enthusiasm of a kid at Christmas.

Oliver pulled up short, surprised at finding Sam hanging around booking. Sam had the look of the proverbial cat that ate the canary and it looked like it was McNally he wanted to swallow, when he drawled "Well. Hello."

Andy flushed and turned red. "Oh, God. He's in uniform. He looks good in uniform." she thought. "Yummy. No. Wait. Don't think like that. What do I say? What does he remember? Wait, what was he saying?"

"…jump on you to?" Sam finished. Andy said "No." in a horrified gasp just as the purse snatcher said "Yeah. Yeah" and Andy shot him a glare.

Sam moved closer to Andy "She does that" and plucked a leaf from her hair and finished "Sure he's not an undercover cop?"

Andy thought "OK. This might be ok. He's still just mad about yesterday" and then Sam brushed the leaves off her pants. Sam and Oliver left the room laughing, and as little bits of leaves drifted to the floor, Andy thought "Or he remembers everything."

xxxxxxxxxx

After Parade Noelle, Oliver, and Sam were huddled in conversation. They were trying to figure out what Boyko was up to. He had just changed up all the partnerships between rookies and training officers when it was standard procedure to keep them stable until the rookies were a little less wet behind the ears.

"Did you hear Boyko tell McNally 'be gentle with him'? I think he's just screwing around with Sam." Noelle speculated.

"Well, he could have done that by sticking Sam with Peck or Epstein. Instead he gave the legacy to you and I get a trigger happy rookie who has already fired on 15 Division this morning." Oliver responded.

"Well maybe he's just annoyed that we didn't invite him out to The Penny last night and now he's punishing us. " Noelle countered.

"So what, Frank escapes punishment because he can't hold his liquor well enough to make it into work today? How is that fair?" Oliver asked.

"Give Frank a break. You and Jerry dropped him on his head carrying him into his house last night. And you know he's allergic to that awful hangover cure. The one time he tried it he ended up hospitalized." Noelle said defending Frank.

Sam, listening to the exchange, saw an opportunity to confirm his suspicions about how he got home last night, but then Peck inserted herself into the conversation. Sam was too busy feeling thwarted and cursing in his head about pesky, blonde, ass kissing rookies to hear what she was talking about and before he knew it Noelle took her coffee and left.

Andy had been waiting around in the hall for Noelle. When Andy asked her for a moment, Noelle stopped but waved Peck to continue on. Gail ducked behind a corner to listen.

Gail always told people that her Mother said that success is ninety percent luck and ten percent timing. That was a lie she told because no one wanted to hear the truth. There is no luck. The way to move up the ranks was all about ruthless ambition and information gathering. Gail was expected to live up to the Peck name and she only knew of one way to do that.

"These are Swarek's" Andy said slipping keys to Noelle, "I, um, forgot to leave them when I drove him home last night. Do you think you could return them?" Noelle was about to ask a question when Andy rushed on, "And could you not mention that I was the one to drive him home. I wouldn't want you to, you know; lie but maybe, if he doesn't say anything. Well then you could just not mention it."

Andy, flushed and nervous, rushed away and smacked into Detective Callaghan.

Noelle looked over and saw that Boyko had pulled Sam aside, but Sam didn't seem to be paying much attention. His gaze was narrowed on McNally and Callaghan. Noelle shook her head, looking forward to what Sam would have to say for himself when she gave his keys back, and headed out to the cruiser.

Sam was annoyed; Boyko was going on and on about FITE NITE and how Sam was expected to restore victory to fifteen after the thrashing visited upon them last year and how it was an embarrassment that only the rookies had come out victorious.

Sam didn't know why that was his problem since he hadn't fought last year. He had said as much to Boyko before Parade. He wasn't sure how it had happened but somehow, in a weak moment, that had led to Sam had striking a bargain with the Staff Sargeant. Sam would represent fifteen at FITE NITE and in return he got to train Andy McNally.

Andy found it hard to focus on what Detective Callaghan was saying while Sam Swarek was looking at her. She wasn't sure, but the detective seemed overly interested in his cat's bodily functions. Andy gagged a little, trying to disguise it as a laugh, and made excuses to leave when Swarek motioned that it was time to head out.

The Black Penny

"Is it normal to be scared when you make your first arrest?" Gail asked Sam, putting on her breathiest baby doll voice, "I just felt so alone, you know?"

Noelle, Oliver, and Jerry were watching the show from down the bar. Sam had that look on his face that said "get me the hell out of here." His head had taken on a jerking little nodding motion, kind of like a one of those bobble head dolls, which was his signal that he was bored out of his mind and needed a rescue. Unfortunately for Sam, Oliver and Noelle were having too much fun laughing at his expense to save him from the blonde piranha and Jerry had gotten distracted by the fire flashing in Traci Nash's eyes.

Dov brushed past Peck and Swarek, carrying a handful of beers to Andy, Traci, and Chris. "Biatch stole my arrest." At Dov's, words, Andy turned in her seat and saw Sam standing next to Gail at the bar. Her hand tightened on the bottle at the sight. She was barely listening to the conversation going on around her.

Sam glanced up and his eyes met Andy's and locked. Mutual memories of the last time they were at the Black Penny flashed though their minds.

"Slut" Andy's head whipped around when she picked up on Chris's words only to realize that Chris was still trying to extricate his foot from his mouth after implying Traci was somewhat loose. Andy was just relieved that Diaz hadn't suddenly figured out how to read minds.

Traci wasn't reacting any better to being called a free spirit. She stood up in a huff and headed towards Jerry.

Andy saw where she was headed and grabbed her arm, "Detective Barber?" she asked.

Traci responded with a sly smile and reassurance "It's OK. He's not my training officer."

Andy slumped back into her chair. Dov and Chris turned the conversation around to what it was like riding with the great Sam Swarek. "He collects these people who have had troubled lives and really cares about them having a better future. He waters plants. He listens to Moby Dick. He took down this gang member with these really cool mixed martial arts moves. It was hot. He said I acted like a cop," Andy thought all those things but didn't answer a single question that was asked. Sam Swarek had trusted her today and she wouldn't betray that.

Andy stood abruptly. Returning Traci's keys was as good excuse as any to avoid Chris and Dov's questioning. But Andy changed course when she saw Noelle, laughingly toss Sam's keys at his head, and Sam follow her out the door.

Andy chased Sam down in the parking lot. Andy told herself she just wanted to make sure that Emily, Anton Hill's accountant, was going to be alright. But, deep down, she knew she just wanted to spend a little more time with Sam before the night was over.

Andy wanted to know if he had really given up his case against Hill for Emily. Sam wasn't so sure. He was never really certain that Emily would give up her insurance policy. He'd been two weeks away from taking down Anton Hill for what seemed like months.

His friends were right; he had as much to do with his cover being blown as McNally did, maybe more. Maybe he really had started to lose himself and knew deep down that it was time to get out. But he certainly wasn't going to tell his rookie that. Andy McNally had heart and guts; she needed something to temper that reckless bravery and make her think before she rushed in to situations that could get her killed.

"Were you scared in there?" Andy asked softly.

"Yeah" Sam answered, but not until you were there. Not until it was possible that you could be hurt. But Sam wasn't going to tell her that either and asked instead "You?"

"No. You were there." Andy answered her heart in her eyes. Andy went to shake Sam's hand, just to touch him.

Sam took her hand in his and Andy winced a little. "What happened?" Sam asked.

Sheepishly, Andy responded, "Um, someone suggested I kick the door in. Said you'd love it. I rammed it instead."

"The metal one?" Sam asked shaking his head, and not waiting for a response, "Let me take you home. Make sure there's no permanent damage." Andy nodded, but Sam pulled up short and pulled his keys from his pocket, "Keys, no truck," he said.

"I have Traci's car." Andy suggested.

"I'll drive" Sam said.

Gail emerged from the shadows as Sam Swarek and Andy McNally left the Black Penny together.

Swarek's Place

Sam unlocked the door and led Andy inside. Andy noticed that the room looked like a tornado hit it. Sam threw her a look that said your fault and shrugged "Couldn't find my keys." Sam wasn't going to bring up what he was sure had happened last night unless Andy did first; she was skittish enough as it was.

Sam led Andy into the kitchen, circled her hips with his hands, and boosted her onto the counter. He left her there briefly to get some ice-packs out of the freezer. Sam returned and settled into a spot between Andy's legs. He laced his fingers through her other hand, then after inspecting her arm and applying the ice pack, he said "It should be fine, a little bruising maybe, but OK in a few days."

They stayed that way, tension thick in the air, until Sam broke the silence with a soft "McNally?"

They shifted, angling their heads for a kiss when Andy drew in a shuddering breath, pulled back and said "I can't. I'm sorry. I can't do this." It was all just too much too fast. It was her first week at work and she didn't want to screw up and Sam was her training officer. It was just so complicated.

Sam understood, but he added back a bit of Sam Swarek sarcasm, trying to lessen the awkwardness, when he said "Well like I said, sweetheart, you're not my type." Sam backed away from the counter and let her go.

As Sam watched her leave, he knew he was a liar. He was going to have to add an addendum to the addendum of 'the Talk' just for Andy McNally.

"I did not ask to train a rookie." _But I extorted my boss to train you_

"I did not ask to have a partner" _But when you walked into Anton Hill's place, I knew I had one_

"I will not be holding your hand" _I don't know if I can resist touching you_

"I am not your boyfriend." _ Yet_


	3. Rumble

**1.03 Let's get ready to rumble!**

_A/N: I'm shuffling around the events of FITE NITE a little to get a bit more Sam and Andy in this chapter because there wasn't a whole lot in the episode. Damn, Boyko._

_Disclaimer: I own nothing of Rookie Blue. I especially do not own the few lines of Gail's or Luke's dialogue from this episode._

15 Division

Sam Swarek was pissed off. Boyko had ordered him to stay off the streets so he would be rested for FITE NITE. Now he was going to be cooped up in a conference room, listening on the wire, all day long. To make matters worse, for reasons beyond all understanding, the rookies were pulling surveillance duty on site with no training officer anywhere on scene.

McNally, Sam growled a little, Andy McNally had been late for the briefing. It made him wonder who she had been having lunch with and if it was a date and why she came back all tousled.

Sam had assigned McNally to watch the back of the building with Peck and now he was stuck with Diaz. But really, there had been no other choice. Jerry would get the wrong idea, he would decide that McNally was the cause of his foul temper and then never let Sam hear the end of it. Sam thought Jerry should know better, but that rookie, Nash, had Jerry twisted into knots. No doubt Jerry would project his own problems on Sam.

Sam looked through the window to the floor below. His hands fisted. Callaghan was chatting up McNally in the hall again. Sam was out of room like a shot. "McNally, step it up," Sam demanded, breaking up the conversation.

There was an operation to get underway. Cops had to obey orders. Sam didn't steer to the left as he went down the stairs to bodily put himself between Callaghan and McNally. Sam had somewhere to go, somewhere to the left, to get…something. Sam wasn't worried about who McNally ate lunch with either. Sam Swarek sometimes lied to himself.

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Back in the conference room, Sam had just dispatched Diaz on a coffee run, for him Jerry, and Oliver, to Tim Horton's a couple blocks away when Detective Barber said, "Let's clear the operational channel." Sam was about to do just that when he heard Peck's voice crackle to life.

"Are you dating anyone these days?" Gail's voice came across the radio.

Sam hesitated and in five minutes he was going to wish he hadn't. But for right now he wanted to hear how McNally would answer that question.

"Seems like you and Swarek are friendly. Hmm?" Gail continued and Sam made a move to silence the radio after all. But it was too late; Jerry managed to intercept him while Oliver was just leaning back in his chair, headphones on his ears, laughing his ass off at Swarek's thwarted desperation not to broadcast this conversation now that it involved him.

And Gail just kept on going, "I'm not saying he's not adorable..." Sam's head dropped into his hands when that put Oliver and Jerry on a roll, trying to one up each other, at his expense.

"Yeah, Sam Swarek is so adorable that babies coo over him."

"SIU changed their name to Internal Affairs in hopes that Sam Swarek would finally notice them."

"Had to call in a 10-79 when a woman drowned in Sam Swarek's eyes."

"…it's kind of a no, no. It's actually a rule" Gail was still talking and Sam couldn't believe that she just wouldn't shut up.

"He's not my type." Andy answered Gail. Sam wondered how much he and Andy had in common. Was she lying about what, who, turned her on too?

"Shut up! He's anybody's type." Gail responded with skepticism.

Sam made another dive for the radio but Jerry blocked him again. Staying out of the scuffle, Oliver snarked, "And Jerry learned that one the hard way," dredging up ancient history that Barber would rather stay buried.

Andy was laughing nervously, when she and Gail saw Beljac arrive on scene to make a deal, to sell cop killer bullets, with an undercover cop, Detective Donovan Boyd.

As Andy fumbled with her radio, Gail called it in. Moments later a domestic disturbance could be heard and Peck and McNally were dispatched to put an end to it before it jeopardized the operation. Sam warned them not to announce they were cops. Oliver told McNally to turn off her radio. When the connection went dead, Oliver shook his head and said, "That rookie, first she can't turn her radio on and now she can't seem to figure out how to turn it off."

FITE NITE

Traci had just won her bout. Andy and Chris escorted her back to the make shift locker room through a throng of senior officers who were thrilled for the rookie's victory over 17 Division. Some were congratulating Traci. A few were talking smack with officers from their rival Division. More than a few were counting their winnings.

When they reached the locker room, Andy pulled up short, finding it already occupied by Sam, Jerry, and Dov. Dov's eyes lit up at the sight of the other rookies, knowing he just got the opportunity to regale more people with how he cracked the case and secured Beljac's confession.

Catching sight of Traci's bloodied face, Jerry shoved his way past Dov. Jerry put a hesitant hand to Traci's battered face and then began to march her towards the washroom, intent on cleaning and bandaging her up. He was hoping to play a little doctor too. But as they left, Traci was already muttering something about overprotective jerks, so Jerry's chances didn't look great on that front.

Dov headed toward the entrance, intent on securing his audience before it got any smaller. Dov was looking forward to going over the events of the day while sharing a beer and urged the other rookies to show him the bar. While and Chris followed Dov out of the room, Andy's feet were rooted to the spot.

Dov looked around realizing that McNally hadn't followed him out and Diaz wasn't really paying much attention, his gaze was fixed on the room behind him even though the others had shifted out of sight and deeper into the locker room. Dov asked Chris what was bothering him.

"When I came back to the surveillance room today, I saw Officer Swarek and Detective Barber kind of wrestling with each other and Officer Shaw, he implied, well" Chris's rambling came to an abrupt stop, and with the look of someone who had just been given proof that aliens were real or that women were more attracted to him now that he was a cop, Chris said to Dov, "It was weird." Chris shook his head and went to get a drink. Dov followed behind.

Back in the locker room, Sam had moved behind a blue curtain. Andy followed him, drawn to him like a doll on a string.

Sam reached down, untucked his shirt and pulled it over his head. The man had no inhibitions when it came to Andy McNally. Andy grinned at him and asked "Are you fighting?"

"Yeah" Sam responded as he reached for his belt buckle, pulling off it and his pants. Andy didn't turn around or avert her eyes. This wasn't the first time Sam had undressed in front of her. Sure she may have been having a fit of righteous indignation the last time, after the disaster of her first day, but she wasn't about to turn into some simpering female now. Andy figured that Swarek may be off limits to her, but that didn't mean she couldn't look.

Standing in his briefs, Sam motioned for Andy to get his boxing shorts. Andy grabbed them and tossed them towards his head. As Sam put them on, Andy grabbed the rest of the boxing gear, carrying it over to Sam.

Sam was sitting on a bench, bent over and lacing up his shoes. When he straightened up, Andy kneeled down to help Sam put on the boxing gloves. When Andy finished latching the Velcro, her hands started drifting downward, involuntarily.

"…below the belt." startled by the unknown voice, Andy jerked her hands away from Sam, jumped up and back, and spun around. "No hitting behind the neck." the referee for the fights continued before informing Swarek that it was time for his round. Sam started laughing as Andy's cheeks flushed. He had been very aware of where Andy's hands had been going.

Andy shot an annoyed look at Sam, who wasn't trying to control his mirth at all, as they headed out of the locker room towards the ring. They were stopped several times along the way by officers being not at all subtle about how much money they had riding on Sam.

Andy thought the Sarge was taking the whole thing just a little too seriously when he stopped Sam to remind him of the gravity of the situation and the necessity of a win to restore the preeminence and reputation on 15 Division after last year's debacle. Andy had dared to ask what had happened last year and Boyko looked like he was about to pop a blood vessel.

Sam climbed up into the ring, ducking between the ropes. He moved to sit in his corner. Outside the ring, Andy also pushed her way to Sam's corner while Oliver came up on the other side. Sam leaned forward putting in his mouth guard. Sam eventually settled his elbows on his knees and turned to grin at Andy.

Sam could hear, over the din, that Oliver was regaling Andy with stories of Sam's undefeated record at FITE NITE. Sam wasn't one to brag, but if Shaw wanted to ply his rookie with tales of his prowess, well Sam certainly wasn't going to object.

The bell rang for the first round; Sam stood, moved to the center ring, and punched fists with his opponent from 17 Division.

It was fairly obvious to Oliver that Sam was putting on a show. Whether it was for the crowd, to tweak Boyko, or for Andy McNally who was screaming encouragement, at the top of her lungs, Oliver wasn't sure. But for whatever reason, Sam went easy on his opponent landing punches while avoiding taking any serious hits himself. Sam didn't knock his opponent to the ground until moments before the bell was set to ring. Even then, Sam's opponent dragged himself to his feet before the count finished and both went back to their corners at the end of the round.

As Sam sat down, Andy leaned into the ring and handed Sam a water bottle and when he was done gulping it down, she passed him a towel. Then Andy gave Sam some advice, "Maybe you should stop toying with him."

Oliver shot a look at Andy, hearing that, and realized that the rookie had been paying attention and had learned a lot about Sam in a very short time.

As the bell rang, starting the second round, Sam pushed off his seat heading back to finish this bout while Luke fought his way through the crowd to stand next to Andy. Luke's opening line was, "Hope I do that well."

Andy dragged her eyes away from the fight to ask, "Are you fighting?"

"No" Luke responded and added "but I kind of wish I was because I think you would have thought it was cool."

Andy's attention had reverted back to the ring as Sam landed a series of punches on his opponent. Andy was thinking that Sam Swarek boxing was more than cool, it was hot. Chiseled tensing muscles slicked with sweat, hmm.

Oliver was watching Callaghan's attempts to hit on Andy and couldn't help but roll his eyes. He was thinking that the guy was so clueless that if he wasn't the stereotypical golden boy, he'd never have a date.

"Can I buy you a drink?" Luke asked.

"It's an open bar" Andy replied absently, intent on the fight and then winced. Sam had taken a hit and stumbled a bit when he caught sight of Callaghan moving in on Andy out of the corner of his eye and got distracted.

"I'll be at the Black Penny later, how about I buy you one there?" Luke asked a little lamely. Andy barely heard him as she looked past the fighters to the other side of the ring and noticed that her father was starting to cause a commotion and took off to deal with it.

As Andy rushed to intervene, her father started throwing punches. All eyes had turned away from the fight in the ring to the one outside of it until a voice called out, "Disqualified!"

That was enough to pull everyone's attention away from Andy and her father's altercation back to the happenings in the ring.

When Sam had caught sight of the commotion in the crowd and then saw McNally dive into the middle of it, he had reacted on instinct. Sam had gone after his opponent with a singular focus. To disable him, so he could backup McNally. All it took was one shot to the face and one kick to the ribs and his opponent collapsed to the ground, knocked out cold. Unfortunately for all the people who had bet their money on Sam, this was boxing not MMA and Sam was disqualified.

Sam climbed out of the ring intent on getting to McNally, but he was waylaid by everyone from the Chief to the Sarge to his fellow training officers. By the time he extracted himself from the crowd, McNally was nowhere to be found.

As he was looking for McNally, he stumbled across Diaz and Peck who informed him that Andy had gotten a call and decided to follow up on the domestic from earlier that day, taking Officer Williams with her. Reassured that McNally was alright Sam headed off to find Jerry and drag him to the Penny for a drink.

The Black Penny

Andy weaved her way through the crowd at the Black Penny. She saw Sam at the bar with Detective Barber but pretended that she hadn't. She told herself that she was going to talk to Detective Callaghan because it was his case. But really it was just easier to tell someone whose respect she wasn't desperate for.

Sam already thought she was a screw up after blowing his cover. Now she had to admit that her father's troubles were an anvil she dragged around her neck. She was just too embarrassed to tell Sam.

Luke looked up at Andy and asked, "Decided to let me buy you a drink?"

Andy shook her head, sat and started talking quietly, "You saw the scene my Dad made at FITE NITE?" Luke nodded, "He drinks. And when he drinks, he gambles. When I headed home tonight, a man approached me. He made threats against my father" Andy hesitated as if it was a lesser concern, "and me." Luke made a move to interrupt but Andy stalled him, just wanting to get it out, "He must have seen us talking and jumped to conclusions because he thought I could get information, from you, on that case you mentioned this afternoon."

Luke asked Andy a few questions and then excused himself to call Boyko. As Andy watched Luke go, her eyes found Sam's.

One day, when Andy looked back on this night she would see not going straight to Sam Swarek as her second giant screw up as a rookie. Sam would disagree with her. He would say it was her first.

_A/N: Yeah, I hate that last part too. It bugs me, for a variety of reasons. So I'll just say this, Andy will not be attracted to or sleep with Luke in this fic (If this were season 4 Luke and Sam she might, but this is season 1 Luke and Sam so she won't). I will get writers block if I can't find a thread in an episode to pull into funny or, if I'm lucky, a giant ball of crazy, and there is just too much Luke in this season to ignore it completely (believe me I tried). This is the price I pay so I can still have Sam beat the snot out of Luke in front of witnesses (there are witnesses!) in Chapter 8 plus a few other bits of nonsense long the way._


	4. Negatives

**1.04 Burn the Negatives**

_A/N: Before there were digital cameras, there was this thing called film. Strap into your time machines, it's time for a Rookie Blue flashback. _

_As always, reviews are greatly appreciated, maybe even more so this time. I have that feeling in the pit of my stomach again that I've gone too far. But I've discovered that I have absolutely no judgement when I find something amusing. If I need to rein it in, someone is going to have to tell me because I'm never going to figure it out on my own._

_PS. You were always going to get the flashback in this chapter but __**mahtra**__ gets kudos for being the only one to ask about it._

_Disclaimer: I own nothing of Rookie Blue_

The Murder House

Andy and Luke had just come from a meeting with Detective Boyd and Sargent Boyko. They met up at a movie theater playing old foreign films.

Andy thought it was all a little too cloak and dagger, and blown entirely out of proportion, for what had occurred after FITE NITE. Really, clandestine meetings with Homicide, Guns and Gangs, and the Sarge over what may be some petty criminal? It seemed absurd to Andy. But what did she know? Andy was new to this kind of thing. Maybe this is how 15 Division conducted undercover assignments, if you could even call it that.

Detective Boyd liked to call them covert operations. Andy thought maybe Boyd had been under too long, trying to take down Beljac, and had watched one too many spy movies. But then again, she didn't know him before. Maybe he was always this way.

Boyko, Callaghan, and Boyd had settled on the approach to deal with her situation earlier that day and were using the meet to inform her of their plan. They didn't have any leads on who may have approached her and threatened her father. The case Callaghan had been working on had seemed like an open and shut gang shooting. They even had the shooter in custody. They decided they needed to learn more. Andy was supposed to look like she was capitulating to the threats in hopes that she would be approached again.

The whole meeting had brought Andy's worries crashing back. This didn't seem right. Andy was worried they were holding something back because she was a rookie. She really should have told Swarek about this first. Sam would know if this was really as crazy as Andy thought it was. When Andy put forward the idea of bringing Swarek into this, pointing out that he was her training officer and would be spending a lot of time with her and would be more likely to see suspicious activity, Boyko shut her down and ordered her not to inform him. Boyko's eye was twitching as he said it and Andy wondered if it was because the Sarge was still peeved over the Sam's loss at FITE NITE or if it was something more.

So now Andy was strolling arm in arm with Luke Callaghan down a street right out of a Norman Rockwell painting talking about double homicides and pretending to start a romantic relationship. Andy was grateful to Luke for not using this as an opportunity to try to make a move. Instead Luke kept it professional by talking to her about his case, a crime of passion, and some of the best ways to approach suspects to get a confession.

When a man in a hoodie crossed their path, Luke moved in for a kiss to make it look real. All the while, Andy was thinking about how she was going to convince Traci on the way to work in the morning that she'd had a romantic evening with Homicide Luke, when all they had talked about was death, without outright lying. Maybe if she threw the word 'weird' into the conversation.

Tommy NcNally's Apartment

Andy was pounding on her father's door. She hoped he was home and sober. He usually eased off the booze for a little bit when they had a major blow up like they did at FITE NITE. It never lasted, but Andy hoped she wouldn't have to deal with that this morning.

Andy's shift was starting later than usual because there were plans for an undercover operation today, her first. Well her first official one. Andy needed to pick up some attire that could pass for a hooker. She hoped she could find something workable in the stuff her Dad stored for her.

When the door swung open, Andy and her father exchanged a few words but nothing too serious. Andy wasn't going to talk to him about the man that approached her, not until she knew more or she had no other choice. As Andy made her way back to the closet that they used for storage, she told him about the operation planned for today.

Spotting the box she needed, Andy started clearing everything else out of the way. Andy was just putting aside a carton when she noticed that it was labeled with masking tape and a dark scrawl that said 'Fresh Paint'. Andy remembered what Shaw had said about rookies being fresh paint and asked her father about it.

Tommy McNally chuckled, took the box from Andy, and started digging through it. When he found what he was looking for, he handed a stack of pictures to his daughter.

She flipped through images that she never in a million years would have expected to exist. The Sam Swarek she knew would have destroyed the evidence. Andy asked "What is this?"

"The first time your training officers went undercover when they were rookies." her father answered.

_{Flashback – 10 years ago give or take}_

15 Division - Locker Rooms

This was the first time Sam Swarek had ever been inside the women's locker room. He really didn't want to be there, not under these circumstances. Noelle Williams was looking way too happy about this as far as Sam was concerned. It did not bode well for him, not well at all. Sam was considering making a run for it. Noelle was quick, but if he surprised her, she probably wouldn't be able to tackle him before he made good his escape.

Noelle was rifling through her overnight bag and finally found what she was looking for. She pulled out a CD, removed it from the case and slipped it into the player. It was cliche. Noelle would admit to that, but it was also obligatory. Noelle pressed play.

_{'Pretty Woman' by Roy Orbison began to play}_

Really, what else would you listen to when transforming the epitome of young, virile, masculine copper into a transgender hooker? Rowr.

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Jerry Barber shoved his way into the men's locker room wrestling with a large cardboard box. Frank Best and Oliver Shaw knew they were in trouble. Jerry was way too excited about idea of going undercover.

What was worse, he had brought props from home. Since they all had gone to academy together, Frank and Oliver had a pretty good idea of the kinds of props that Jerry had readily available, at all times. They also knew that Jerry had enough of them to share.

Since the training officers had gotten it into their heads that they were going to have to audition for their undercover assignments, they were going to be forced to share. It didn't bear thinking about where Jerry's costumes had been. Frank and Oliver sincerely hoped Jerry had taken them to a dry cleaner before bringing them into Division.

The only thing that made Frank and Oliver feel better about their predicament was the realization that at least they weren't Sam Swarek. The TO's had assigned Sam's cover as well as Noelle's. The five of them had spent the better part of last night, at their usual table at the Penny, drinking and trying to figure out what Sam had done to deserve it. The poor bastard.

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Sam was bent over the sink. Noelle was making him shave again. She had said something about his five o'clock shadow showing up a three and if he didn't shave he would be trying to entice Johns with a full beard by the time the operation started.

Outside the washroom, he could hear the low murmur of voices. It was usually followed by the closing of the locker room door. Noelle must have been convincing the other officers to give them some privacy. Sam was grateful but also worried. Sam was wondering what bargains Noelle could possibly make to get coppers to walk away from such entertainment and how it involved him.

Sam also knew that he was losing an ally in his fight for retaining his dignity. The rookies all had a particular approach to life. Solidarity and support against all comers in every circumstance, even the ludicrous ones, was the rule. But leave them alone together and anything was fair game. The loss of the audience gave Noelle free rein to speak her mind and Sam knew that Noelle's mind was a sharp and devilish thing.

In the mirror Sam saw Noelle enter the washroom; in her hand he saw a flash of silver. Sam whirled and put his hands up in a defensive posture, "What is that?"

"Tweezers" Noelle said with her most ominous smile, slowly moving forward.

"What are they for?" Sam asked, not quite getting it yet. Not wanting to, really.

"Grooming" Noelle responded.

The light dawned and Sam panicked, "No. No, you stay away from me with those things. I shaved my legs. I shaved under my arms. I even shaved my chest because you told me I had too. I did it even though I told you that I shouldn't be exposing that much skin. So you cannot. You will not pluck anything of mine."

But Noelle had always been the fastest of the five of them at take-downs. As Sam was getting his eyebrows thinned he took solace that at least Jerry, Oliver, and Frank weren't there to witness it.

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15 Division had so many male rookies this year that they had decided to expand the operation from the usual John sweep to include making some prostitution arrests. One of the rookies was going to be assigned to act as a John.

Jerry didn't think that he'd be the right choice. Putting on his aviator glasses to complete his look, Jerry thought he'd done too good a job of creating his cover. Jerry's cover story was going to be lonely movie star, filming on location in Canada, wanting a no complications hookup or an arrest to get some publicity. He hadn't exactly nailed that part down yet. But the end result was that he didn't think that women would be asking him to pay. That would make it hard to make an arrest for solicitation.

Oliver thought the cover that would nab the most collars was successful business man. So Oliver dressed up in a suit and tie. What Oliver didn't realize was how very young he looked. Oliver looked like he was headed off to church. That made sense since that was the purpose of the only suit he owned.

Frank refused to change out of his civilian clothes. Oliver and Jerry weren't sure why he wasn't making an effort. They thought Frank would prefer to go undercover as the John. But Frank had been surly ever since they'd been told about this undercover operation so they hadn't asked him.

Tommy McNally ducked his head into the locker room to see what progress the rookies were making. He took a few pictures, explaining that they would be used to evaluate what the best fit for the cover assignments would be. As he left the room, he ordered the rookies to change into their next cover identity.

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Noelle had changed into her get up, hooker with a heart of gold as Jerry had dubbed it, before ever starting Sam's make over. Now she stood, covered in a coat to maintain her modesty, digging through the clothes she had brought in for Sam to wear.

Sam was stealing glances into the bag like it might be full of snakes.

Noelle had already pulled out a bra and inserts. This had led to an argument about how large Sam's breasts would be. Then Sam had been felled, briefly, by the dawning realization that this might explain the few times in the past when a woman's breast size had changed once he got her out of her clothes. Not that he was shallow. He was always happy to have a woman out of her clothes. But it had always made him question his powers of observation which was a fundamental skill for a cop.

Next out was a black leather mini skirt. Sam made a valiant, if stupid, attempt to argue that he could pull off acting like a woman in pants. Sam lost that argument too.

Then Noelle pulled out two flimsy pieces of material, one black and one tan. Noelle made Sam pick which one he liked best. The tan one had a seam on the back which he'd always liked on a woman. His sister Sarah had always called it a 40's glam look. It made Sam think about where that seam went. On second thought, Sam picked the fishnet stockings.

The last items Noelle pulled free of the bag were two halter tops, one yellow and one leopard print. It finally dawned on Sam, by the look on Noelle's face, that she had been subtly turning the screws on him by forcing him to choose all his own attire. He pointed at the leopard print.

Noelle made a move to leave the locker room, to allow Sam to dress, but before leaving she asked "Do you need any help figuring out how to put all that on?"

Sam replied, with all the dignity he could muster, "I've gotten plenty of women out of their clothes. I'm sure I'll have no problem getting into them..." Sam paused as his own words registered in his mind, "I didn't mean..." Noelle could hear the thwack of Sam's head hitting the locker repeatedly as she left the room.

Noelle had been standing against the locker room door for about fifteen minutes waiting for Sam to finishing dressing. She was starting to get worried. Sam responded to all her queries on whether he needed help with grunts. Maybe he had given himself brain damage. She saw McNally leaving the guys locker room and flagged him down.

Tommy McNally entered the women's locker room and came to a sudden stop at the sight in front of him. Sam Swarek was hopping around trying to pull up his pantyhose. When that didn't' work, he lied down on the bench and stuck his legs in the air to try to get leverage from another angle. Tommy snapped a few candid pictures before he gave Sam some advice, "You need to take off the skirt and put on the pantyhose first, son."

Sam was so startled, he rolled off the bench. As he lay face down on the ground, he had two thoughts, 'how does McNally know that' and 'at least it wasn't Charlie.'

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Jerry was finally getting the chance to use his costumes again. They had been in storage since they graduated from the Police Academy. Back at the Academy they used to have these killer cops and robbers parties. Jerry always came dressed as a criminal. He used it an excuse to bring a couple of hot girls dressed in skimpy clothes to the party with him and if the dates didn't work out it always left him open to the possibility of being tackled by a sexy cop.

Jerry had amassed a wide variety of pimp costumes over the years.

Jerry was having a tough time deciding on his character. He definitely wanted to go with something flamboyant. He was thinking a retro 70's pimp look. But he had so many options to choose from. Should he go with the gold cape or the fur coat? Should he wear scarves, bandannas, or a fedora? Jerry finally settled on a leopard print fur coat and a large yellow hat. Thinking back to his talk his Noelle the night before, he thought it would be funny that either way he'd match Sam.

Oliver suited up in some basketball attire. Shaw was hoping to get to play the part of the pimp. It was a support role on the operation. He'd get to be back up for the other rookies and then make the arrest. As he dug through Jerry's collection of hats, selecting a large black one, he hoped that the training officers had seen the same movie that he had. Oliver figured that being able to play pimp or male madam would double his chances of being selected for this cover.

Frank decided to actually change for this one which surprised both Oliver and Jerry. Frank kept his jeans on, but swapped out his shirt for a black muscle shirt, and then tied a black bandanna around his head. Frank refused to come up with a cover story, arguing that it wasn't needed. So Jerry did it for him. Frank had dreams of becoming a famous rapper or so he was told.

While Jerry was spinning tales, Oliver heard a muffled "Come on, I'll pay you" from outside the door. Moments later, the door opened again and McNally came in. This time Tommy leaned back against the door. It was jostled a few times as McNally took his pictures.

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Sam finally called to Noelle that he was dressed. Noelle made a valiant attempt not to laugh. She failed, but Sam appreciated the effort. Noelle directed Sam to sit. It was time for hair and make-up.

First Noelle applied some foundation and face powder. When she had evened out Sam's complexion, she told Sam to close his eyes so she could apply the eye make-up. Noelle kept Sam apprised of exactly what she was doing as she did it, which drove Sam to snap, "Stop. Stop explaining this to me. Do you think I want to know for the rest of my life how to repeat this experience?"

Noelle continued in silence, applying eye shadow and eye liner. But when she got to the mascara she couldn't help herself and told Sam "It's really not fair that your eyelashes are longer and fuller than mine."

Sam didn't rise to the bait, but Noelle was OK with that. She was trying to see if she could get Sam to blush. Noelle always liked a game she knew could win. She had a blush brush in her hand so she knew she'd win this one.

When it came time for the lipstick, Noelle handed Sam the tube. She made an excuse that it was hard to get the right angle so Sam needed to apply the lipstick himself. That was really just so Noelle could snap a picture while Sam wasn't paying attention.

Next they had what Noelle still refers to as 'the great hair gel debate'. Sam's position was that he would look best if they used a little gel to slick his hair back to make it a short sleek style. Noelle countered that they needed to use a long wig to disguise his massive shoulders. Sam eventually capitulated. But to this day Noelle is convinced that this is why all of Sam's undercover personas wear hair gel.

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Jerry was the only one to dress up as a male prostitute. He put on a deep mauve silk shirt. Leaving the top couple buttons undone, he paired the shirt with white pants, white shoes, and a flashy crystal encrusted belt. He was kind of disappointed that Oliver and Frank weren't putting as much effort into their undercover operation as he was.

Frank had refused to change out of his pimp gear. Frank had settled on which part he wanted to play in this operation and he wasn't going to explain why, to anyone.

Oliver on the other hand had changed back to his civilian clothes. When McNally had left the locker room last time, it finally clicked into place that Tommy was taking pictures. That was bad. That was very bad. Oliver thought maybe, just maybe, since Frank hadn't gotten reamed for wearing his civilian clothes earlier that he could do the same. Maybe they would think that Oliver didn't know how a male prostitute might dress. Whatever they thought at least there would be no more evidence left behind.

When Tommy McNally came into the room to snap pictures this time, he laughed a little, kind of proud that it was his rookie who caught onto what they were up to first.

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"Why do women wear these?" Sam muttered as he lost his balance on the high heels again.

Noelle was making him walk from one end of the locker room to the other and back again while she critiqued him. She had countered his argument that they were just planning to stand on a street corner with the possibility that he might need to chase down a suspect, so he was practicing walking, grudgingly.

Sam took a precarious step and as he did his heel snapped. Sam shifted so he'd fall into the wall instead of the floor. But he knew that wasn't going to save him from this torture. Sam banged his head against the wall a little and groaned before pushing away to limp the small distance to where Noelle held up a ridiculous looking pair of high heeled black leather boots. She brought two of everything.

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Tommy McNally entered the men's locker room one last time. This time the rest of the training officers were right behind him. Nothing was going to keep them out. McNally barked out the undercover assignments, "Shaw, go change, you're the John, Best pimp, and Jerry male prostitute. Be in Parade in five."

As Oliver grabbed his suit to go change clothes, he heard Charlie laughingly say "Its days like this that I love my job. Let's go see Samantha."

Parade

Jerry sauntered into Parade for the briefing. He was pretty impressed with how good he was proving to be at undercover. He saw Noelle across the room studying the operational plan. She was still wearing her jacket and was next to another woman who was bent over looking at a map.

That woman had a very fine ass in a very short skirt. Jerry thought they must have pulled in some additional rookies from 17 Division to help with the sweep. Barber decided to make his move and get her to agree to celebratory drinks with him after the operation was done. He sidled up behind her about to make his move when an undoubtedly masculine voice said "Jerry if you grab my ass you won't live to see another day."

Oliver, Frank, and Noelle had been watching Jerry and recognized what he was doing. They silently cursed the eyes in the back of Swarek's head for cutting off their entertainment so quickly. But only for a moment, because then the rookies lost it. Noelle was now leaning over the table, tears streaming out of her eyes, slamming her fist on the table. Oliver and Frank were in the back of the room, bent over, laughing so hard that they couldn't breathe.

Barber's face had turned the color of his shirt. 'How do you forget that Sam Swarek was going undercover as a woman?' he asked himself. But Jerry had spun so many tales about Johns and pimps and male prostitutes that he had forgoten. No one was ever going to believe it and no one was ever going to let him forget it.

That was how the rookie's first rule of undercover had been born 'keep it simple'.

_{Flashback ends}_

Tommy NcNally's Apartment

Andy shuffled through the pictures, stopped at one of Sam and asked "Why?" There were a lot of questions tumbling through her mind, but that was the only one that came out.

Tommy answered, "We could tell right away that Swarek was built for undercover. Charlie and I, we decided to throw everything we had at him. See how much he could take."

Andy, sympathizing with the younger Swarek, said "They must have been merciless." thinking about how she and her own class of rookies related to one another.

"Nah." Tommy answered, "We evened things up a bit. We let Sam decide what undercover assignments the other rookies would get. It all played out the way Swarek thought it would. Prostitutes are wary of entrapment and avoid setting a price. Sam figured that Shaw would make them want to take care of him, draw him out. Barber was the only one with enough swagger to play the male prostitute. And Best was going to be a problem either way so Sam figured we might as well put him where there was more than one cop trying to bring in the Johns."

"And making as many arrests as Sam did, especially under those circumstances, does a lot to level the field. Only Shaw had anywhere close to the number of arrests that Swarek did." Tommy didn't add that it's wasn't really Frank's snarling at everyone who looked at Noelle sideways that had Johns picking Swarek over Williams. The hooker with a heart of gold was a cover that didn't really work below underpasses. But that wasn't something you told your daughter. Andy would find out later that it was something Peck siblings talked about.

Andy's attention was diverted by a honking horn. Traci had arrived to pick her up and drive her into work. Andy grabbed a handful of clothes in a rush. As she was on her way out, the pictures still in one hand, her father called out "Swarek's got good instincts. If you listen to him, everything will be fine. Be safe"

15 Division

Frank, Oliver and Noelle were staring down the hall at the women's locker room when Jerry came up behind them. "What's up?" he asked.

"Annual John sweep." Oliver answered.

"It's times like this when I love my job. Fill me in, what have I missed." Jerry asked.

"Swarek" all three officers answered.

Jerry looked down the hall and asked "What the hell? Is he still doing that? Jeez, Noelle. What did you do to him?" Jerry was watching Sam pace in front of the women's locker room and referring to the fact that he was doing it with a slight arc. It's something Sam had started doing when they were rookies. It was subtle and they never talked about it to outsiders but every time Sam passed the women's locker room he shifted slightly away from it.

"I think he's working up the nerve to go in" Noelle said.

"No way, he hasn't been in there in ten years." Frank responded.

"But now the person Swarek most wants to talk to is inside the one place that scares him, hence the pacing." Oliver added.

"Who?" Jerry asked.

"Andy McNally." Noelle answered and Oliver added, "Did you see him in briefing? Sam looked directly at McNally like no one else was in the room and told her not to let anyone touch her."

That brought Jerry up short. If they were sending the rookies undercover as hookers, that meant Traci Nash was going with them. Jerry abruptly left the others. He had to talk to Sam.

Halting Sam mid-pace, Jerry pleaded, "You've got to go in there man. Tell Nash homicide needs a rookie to stay behind and work with them. You've got to do this for me. I would do it but Nash hasn't forgiven me for the Beljac thing yet."

That was the little push Sam needed. Sam psyched himself up like nothing was wrong, knocked on the door, and went in. "Nash, I got a request from the D's. They want a rookie to help with a murder investigation." Sam explained.

Traci questioned if they had asked for her and Sam panicked. This place did that to him. While covering for Jerry, Sam accidentally offered McNally an opportunity to spend all day with Callaghan. What was wrong with him?

When McNally turned him down and Nash left, Sam was nearly giddy with relief. Suddenly, alone with McNally, a woman's locker room wasn't such a bad place to be. Sam started poking around in her locker to see what kind of secrets she had in there and who she had pictures of. He completely failed to convince Andy that his interest was impersonal when he said, referring to those pictures "Magnetic huh. That's cool. Good idea."

Deciding retreat might be best, Sam backed out of the room leaving a final bit of wisdom "I like the leopard print one."

Remembering the pictures, Andy decided it might be best to wear the green.

_A/N This episode ended on a downer (several of them actually) so the following had to be left on the cutting room floor because I couldn't make them fit._

_Deleted Scene 1_

The Black Penny

Andy had given Traci the pictures of their training officers as rookies, in the car on their way into work, that morning. Now Traci had spread them across their usual table at the Penny. Chris was looking at them in shock. Chris asked Andy what Traci had asked her earlier, "There are no pictures of Swarek or Williams?"

Andy shook her head no. The pictures of Swarek were never going to see the light of day again. The only pictures she had seen of Williams were with Sam, so those would never be seen again either. Andy figured it was up to Traci to decide how many people saw the pictures of Barber. As for Best and Shaw, they had tormented Chris pretty thoroughly today so she wasn't against him seeing that he wasn't the only rookie made to suffer in the history of 15 Division.

As she reflected on the day, Andy noticed something about the pictures.

"Diaz. Where did you get your clothes for the undercover operation?" Andy asked.

"Guns and Gangs have a closet where officers can get clothes and props for undercover assignments." Chris responded.

Andy pointed to two pictures and asked, "Doesn't that black shirt Officer Best is wearing look like the one you were wearing today? And the white pants and the belt, aren't those the same as the ones Detective Barber is wearing?"

Traci started laughing hysterically. When she caught her breath, she leaned over and whispered something to Chris.

Chris shot out of his seat and nearly ran out of the bar. He ran right into Dov as he was coming in. They exchanged a few words and then Chris was gone.

When Dov approached the rookie's table, he asked "What is with Chris? He ran out of here like his pants were on fire."

Traci answered, "I told him that Jerry sometimes goes commando."

Andy and Traci collapsed into laughter.

_Deleted Scene 2_

15 Division

Oliver, Frank, and Sam were in the men's locker room packing up after a long day.

Oliver was clearing away the junk in the bottom of his locker. He grabbed a box marked 'fresh paint' and tossed in some photos he had printed of Diaz, Peck, and McNally undercover. "Damn it. McNally. She's Tommy's kid." Oliver exclaimed.

Oliver had just remembered who he'd gotten the idea of keeping mementos of his rookies from. He dashed out of the room, intending to find a phone and plead with his former training officer not to share any memories with his current rookie.

When Oliver left, Sam took the opportunity to surreptitiously snag the picture of McNally from the box. He tucked it into his wallet.

Frank didn't notice. As he did most nights, lately, he was looking at a picture of Noelle. He kept it tucked in his own wallet so it was somewhat ragged around the edges. Frank had snatched it from Tommy McNally's box about a decade ago.


	5. Moon

_Thanks to everyone that has been so kind as to leave a review or PM. Sorry for the lateness of the update but work intervened. So is smumor a genre? Smut+humor follows._

**1.05 Full Moon**

15 Division

Traci and Andy were in the locker room getting dressed for their respective dates.

Traci was looking forward to actually going out with Jerry to dinner and maybe a club. She was making Jerry work for forgiveness for the over-protectiveness he'd started exhibiting since she was assigned to his Division. Traci had decided that the time for clandestine hookups was over. She needed to find out if there was some possible future with Jerry. She needed to decide if she could confide in Jerry about her past and her son. Traci figured a real date was a good way to start trying to figure that out. Jerry seemed to be more than willing to go along with the change.

Andy had another date scheduled with Luke. She hadn't had any contact with the man looking for information on Luke's investigation since that first encounter. Andy was starting to think it was some kind of joke or rookie hazing. Boyko, Boyd, and Callaghan seemed to think there was more to it than that, or at least they wanted to let it play out a little longer and wait and see what developed. So Andy was going out to dinner with Luke tonight to keep up appearances. After that, they had plans to head over to Luke's townhouse to go through some mug books to see if they could find the guy that approached Andy to get a lead to follow.

As they pushed their way out of the locker room and headed to the front of the building, Traci and Andy found Oliver and Sam hanging out at the front desk joking around.

When Sam caught sight of Andy, all conversation with Oliver came to a complete stop and Sam swallowed audibly. Oliver looked over to see what had distracted Sam and seeing the rookies, asked "Girls night out?"

Jerry came up behind Traci and answered for them, 'Nope. I'm taking this one out on the town." Jerry had grabbed Traci's hand and was tugging her away, making excuses as they went, 'I'm on call for the D's tonight. The longer I hang around the more likely I don't get to leave."

"When was the last time the Detective on call didn't get called back in on a Friday night?" Oliver asked. It was a rhetorical question that Jerry did not answer because the detective on call always caught a case.

Sam's attention was still entirely focused on Andy but a sense of dread was settling in the pit of his stomach. Andy wasn't going out with Traci. Andy wasn't going out with him because that was strictly forbidden between a rookie and her training officer. But Andy was going out with someone and she looked so beautiful that the no man could resist making a move on her. What was worse was that Sam was sure that he was the only man in the world that had reasons to try to resist and he wasn't particularly successful with that most of the time. No, whoever Andy had a date with definitely didn't need the extra incentive.

Callaghan chose that moment to interrupt the awkward silence that Andy and Sam were caught in, asking "Ready to go, Andy?"

Oliver saw Sam tense and then looked over at Andy who had an apology in her eyes and looked like the last thing she wanted to do was go. But Andy nodded and followed Luke out of Division. Sam abruptly left moments later, heading to the gym. Oliver was fairly certain Sam was looking to pound the crap out of something.

Oliver looked from the door that closed behind Andy to the door that closed behind Sam and made a decision. Oliver turned and headed over to the uniform manning the desk and said "Callaghan and Barber asked me to let you know that they swapped on call duties for the night. If any calls for the Ds come in, route them to Callaghan."

Oliver figured that if he was going to have to add matchmaking to the training manual to save the citizens of Toronto from Epstein anyway; he might as well get some practice on McNally since it had the added benefit of helping both of his brothers out. Now he just needed a criminal to get drunk or stupid enough to call in a detective instead of a uniform. On a Friday night that wasn't usually too much to ask for.

Luke's Place

Andy had the sudden feeling that someone walked over her grave. She wasn't sure what she had seen or heard but Andy suddenly felt that she wasn't alone. Andy remained still, not wanting to betray that she was alert if there was an intruder. Luke had been called in on a case while she stayed at his place to go through the mug books. Andy wasn't exactly sure how long Luke had been gone, but she didn't think he would be back yet.

Andy caught a flash of movement outside; and putting aside the books she made her way across the room to the window and pulled aside the drapes. Looking across the street, Andy saw a figure step out from the shadows into the dim light of the street lamp. "Sam," Andy exhaled in a relieved breath and headed for the front door.

When Andy pulled open the door, Sam Swarek was already standing on the stoop waiting for her. He reached out towards Andy but hesitated at the entryway and pulled back. 'Are you going to invite me in?" he asked.

"I can't, not here." Andy responded.

"Then come out" Sam beckoned and Andy complied, stepping barefoot out of townhouse with the door shutting with a snick behind her.

Sam stood there silently, tracing his fingers up and down her bare arms. Andy shivered at the contact and stared back at Sam, mesmerized. In that moment she simply gave in. Andy stopped fighting the pull of attraction and let all the worries about the job and the rules, which weighed so heavy on her in the harsh light of day, go. There would be enough time for that tomorrow. Tonight Andy folded herself into Sam's embrace, unable to endure the distance between them any longer.

Sam's arms tightened around Andy, eliminating the last bit of space between them. Their lips met and devoured. Sam's hands moved to the zipper of Andy's dress and pulled. He followed the curve of Andy's neck with his tongue. Moving to her shoulder, he snagged the spaghetti strap of her dress with his teeth and set her dress tumbling to her waist. Sam followed its descent until he found her breasts.

Andy arched at Sam's intimate exploration. Her hands moved to the fly of his jeans, fumbling at the button and searching to release him. Sam shifted his hold and lifted Andy into his arms. Her legs wrapped around his hips, Sam moved until she was pressed up against the door. Their mouths joined again in a long hot open mouthed kiss.

Suddenly Sam reared back, leaving Andy bereft. Sam studied her every feature, the soft panting of her breath, the slick sweat that covered her skin, asking silently if she was sure if this was what she wanted, needed. Andy gave a subtle nod and pulled Sam back to her, his eyes rolled over to black as he tucked his head back into the curve of Andy's neck kissing and licking. Sam drew away a fraction, his canines elongated and he plunged his teeth through the soft skin at the base of Andy's neck, drinking her in. Andy's eyes went wide and she arched back. Then as it suddenly came, the tension broke on the wave of an orgasm.

Andy hung limply in Sam's arms, spent, as he cradled her body and licked his bite tenderly, sealing the wound on her skin. Andy noticed absently that the sky was turning from the dark of night to the grey of dawn; but, there was an odd greenish yellow tint to the overcast sky. Sam began kissing Andy with a heartbreaking gentleness as the sky opened up and a soaking horizontal rain began pounding against them. Sam shifted slightly, sheltering Andy in his embrace.

Out of the corner of her eye, Andy caught sight of eyes, black like a doll's, and a mouth full of teeth. Flying through the air was a large sleek grey object that, as impossible as it seemed, could only be a "Shark!" Andy screamed. But it was too late and the shark slammed into Sam's back piercing his flesh. As Sam fell backward, Andy fell with him towards the snapping teeth of a flailing monster.

Andy went crashing from the couch to the floor. It took her a minute to realize the wetness beneath her was a spilled glass of water not blood on her hands. The flicker of the television was the only light left in the room. Andy cursed the SyFy channel when she heard the television announcer say "We'll return after these messages for the conclusion of 'Forever Knight'. Next up 'Sharknado!'. Stay with us all weekend for our vampire shark marathon leading up to the world premiere of 'Goblin Shark, Vampire of the Deep. Only on SyFy."

Andy groaned and was struck by the sudden urge to flee. She gathered up the books she had been searching through before nodding off and left them in neat stack on the coffee table. After mopping up the water and putting away the glass, Andy grabbed her things and headed to the door. As she was leaving, Andy got a text from Luke, apologizing for getting caught up with his case and asking Andy to stay the night so they could work on her case in the morning.

Andy hit ignore on the way out the door. She paused briefly on the stoop, relieved at the further confirmation that it was all some kind of weird dream. Andy headed towards home, hopping a bit as she put on her heels as she walked down the street.

15 Division

Traci and Andy had just come on shift and were making their way to the locker rooms to pick up their gear before heading to Parade. "So wait, you just bailed on Callaghan with no explanation and then dodged him all weekend?"

Andy shrugged, "It just got weird. I needed some time by myself to work things out." Then Andy tried to move the conversation in another direction, "So how did it go with Jerry? Are you going to tell him about Leo?"

Traci admonished Andy to keep her voice down and said softly "I'm not ready. I don't want people to look at me differently." Traci wanted to avoid being defined by something that happened when she was a teenager. So far Andy was the only person who ever met her son that didn't treat Traci any differently. That was probably because Andy had spent her whole life trying to prove she was more than her alcoholic father's daughter.

Traci and Andy cut off their conversation as they entered the locker room, stumbling right into a debate over whether Chris should propose to his longtime girlfriend. Dov, not surprisingly, was vehemently opposed. What was surprising was that Gail, who had never particularly tried to befriend any of the other rookies, didn't seem that thrilled about it either and not in her normal apathetic way.

Then the last thing Andy needed to happen that day did. Callaghan walked in. Traci, the traitor, hustled the rest of the rookies out as Andy shot her a pleading look not to abandon her to this conversation. Callaghan was playing up the aggrieved boyfriend whose girl had skipped out on him in the middle of the night angle as his way of taking Andy to task for avoiding him and his case for the whole weekend. Callaghan really was a workaholic.

Andy was not thrilled that Callaghan chose the station to have this conversation. What was worse, she was forced to apologize because, one that was what the story Luke decided to play up required and two she really did need to put an end to this whole thing and finding a suspect was the best way to do it. But she had avoided that all weekend because Callaghan's front door had just been added to the list of places that Andy couldn't go without being haunted by Sam Swarek. How was Andy supposed to explain that?

And just when Andy thought things couldn't get worse, they did. Sam walked up behind Callaghan to drag McNally off to Parade which she was late for, again. 'Damn' Andy thought, 'Sam totally got the wrong idea'. As she left, Andy didn't even realize that she had left her gun clip behind.

The Black Penny

Andy and Traci were hanging out alone at the bar making amends for the mistakes that they had made during the day. Traci had left Andy alone to pick up her son and Andy had needed a lecture from Swarek before she backed up her friend with Boyko.

Traci was a little relieved that the truth was out. It was hard enough trying to juggle her son and her job without hiding the existence of one from the other. Traci was even starting to feel like maybe things would be different now. Jerry had reacted better than she ever imagined possible to the news. He still seemed to be interested in Traci and had even asked about Leo.

Conversation between Traci and Andy had turned to the other rookies across the bar. Dov, Gail, and Chris were sitting with a woman they didn't know, who must be Chris's girlfriend Denise. What caught Andy and Traci's attention was that Dov seemed to be getting agitated. Diaz had hold of his arm and was trying to get him to sit back down.

Gail had made an overture of friendship to Nash earlier which Traci had blown off. Now Traci was here, so much for her supposed 'plans', and couldn't even be bothered to have a drink with them. Instead she went straight to little miss perfect McNally. So Gail did what Gail does when feeling rejected. Gail told Chris and Dov the news about Traci's kid.

Dov's reaction was surprising and more than Gail could have hoped for. Chris was trying to restrain Dov and failing. Before chasing after Dov, Chris said to Gail "Keep Denise company while I take care of this?" Gail nodded but mostly ignored Denise while enjoying the floor show she had set in motion.

Dov approached Traci vibrating with anger said, "You. You have a kid!"

Traci was stunned that Dov of all people would react this way and while Traci searched for a response, Dov whirled around. With his back to Andy and Traci, he tugged down the waist of his jeans, slightly, and pulled up the hem of his shirt. Contorting to point at his back while looking over his shoulder at Traci, Dov accused "You kept your son a secret deliberately. Because you knew that I'd know that you are to blame for this." Dov emphasized his accusation by making a stabbing motion with his finger behind his back and hissed, "You. You, Mother. Because of you, I have Dr. Seuss tattoo on my ass."

"It's your lower back actually." Chis said and when Dov whirled around to glare at him Chris shrugged a silent 'What?'

That was when Andy looked past Dov and Chris and told him the last thing he wanted to hear, "Dov, the TO's are watching."

Dov looked past Chris and saw Shaw shaking his head. Dov's eyes then swung from Shaw to Barber to Swarek and he flushed red. When it looked like they were making a move to stand, Dov hastily tugged up his pants and dropped his shirt.

Andy and Chris dragged Dov to a table out of the way of interested eyes and ears while Traci waved Jerry off. Traci ordered a round of drinks for the four of them before following behind. A little liquid courage was probably needed for this explanation, although alcohol was what had gotten them, well mostly Dov, into this mess in the first place.

As Traci approached the table, Dov was again ranting that Traci's knowledge of children books proved that she was responsible. Traci wasn't about to take the fall for this alone and threw her friend under the bus "Andy babysat for Leo all the time. My son loves to listen to Andy read to him."

Andy gasped like she had been stabbed. She wasn't going down alone, "How many times has Diaz made us watch 'The Grinch'? Every time it's on. Every single time. I bet he's seen 'The Cat in the Hat' and 'Horton Hears a Who' too."

Chris dug his own grave with, "I was just poking at Dov. You know that we didn't start that tradition until Dov got the tramp stamp."

Dov looked at the three of them, all turning on each other like criminals, and realized "It was all of you. All of you conspired to tattoo a cartoon turtle on my ass."

'His name is Mack." Chris said quietly.

"What? You named my tattoo?" Dov asked, incredulous.

"No, Dr. Seuss did." Traci added.

Andy decided it was time to lay it all out there and started to recount the tale. Or at least what they had put together over the last few months from the bits and pieces she, Traci, and Chris remembered and had compared notes on. "Tattoos were your idea, Dov. A way to celebrate all of us graduating the academy and being assigned to 15 Division together. Solidarity to our fellow coppers and each other marked permanently on our bodies. That was your argument. I remember that much. How we got from trying to talk you out of it to a tattoo parlor is kind of blurry."

"Dov just makes more sense the drunker you are." Chris explained. This was as good an explanation as any since that part of the night was a complete mystery to all of them.

"When I was done, you were lying face down on a table. Chris and Traci were watching the tattoo artist work and arguing." Andy continued.

"One of you tried to stop this. It was Diaz, right?" Dov asked looking from Chris to Traci.

That made Traci feel slightly less guilty, so she said baldly, "No we were arguing over how to stack the turtles."

"Turtles? Plural?" Dov asked.

Traci ignored him and presented her position, "I thought we should have a ten turtle stack. Diaz thought the turtles should be tumbling to the ground."

Diaz still convinced of the rightness of his position, clarified "Traci thought it would be funnier if the turtles were reaching for the moon. Somehow body art joking about mooning people is classier than a tattoo where a bodily function topples turtles to the ground."

"So it was Andy? Andy stopped you?" Dov asked relieved that someone had his back.

"Well," Andy hesitated at letting Dov believe something that while true wasn't the whole truth, "I agreed with Diaz. The turtle stack should be tumbling down to symbolize the criminal organizations we will topple. That's why we picked Mack. But I thought it would be better if we added a turtle as we reached each milestone in our careers."

"Wait. What? This is a tradition?" Dov shouted, horrified.

"Not now." Chris said.

"We're sober now." Traci added.

Andy was conspicuously silent.

At that, the rookies adjourned to return to Dov and Chris' original table to give Andy and Traci a chance to meet Denise.

Later that night, after getting fed up with Dov monitoring their alcohol intake, Andy made her excuses and pushed away from the table. As Andy crossed the bar heading to the door, something she said earlier came back to Dov. He jumped to his feet and shouted across the bar, "Andy, you got a tattoo? Of what? And where?"

Andy turned around with a Cheshire grin. Sam, who had just heard that exchange, thought 'Those three questions are going to haunt me.'

_A/N: I feel like a horrible tease. I just asked myself the question 'what kind of weird dream would drive Andy to leave Luke's' and it kind of got away from me. Anyway, I don't know how well known the references are. Most probably know which Rookie Blue actor was in 'Forever Knight' (his hair from that show was not in this fic, btw), 'Sharknado! ' is a real movie and it's just like what you would imagine {a tornado flings sharks across a city}, and a goblin shark is a real shark but not a real movie. _

_Everything in the episode not mentioned happened except if Luke was involved. Two things I loved about this episode that can't be improved upon by fic. First, the look on Sam's face when he learned that Andy's gun wasn't loaded. Second, they had this cute little scene with Traci, Jerry, a baby, and a dog. So sad considering what is to come. I'm never killing Jerry in a fic, ever._


End file.
